assumption made

We have to stop pretending not to care about each others and actually do talk about how much we still feel.
All these while, we haven't been acknowledging how we actually ended up nothing.
We still, do feel for each other, don't we?
At least, i still feeel~ How much things happened on you was all i wanted to know.
i still feel, it is "you".. correct me if i was wrong...  
holding on to you makes me feel more comfortable~

why do we still blog-posting for each other instead of direct conversation.
I still feel strange, feeling unprotected.
How much more I have to find out before you actually revealed yourself the truth behind the lies? 
How much more of me to reach the perfect one for you. 

taking everything as my precious,
Everyone knows that, Im going far away..
Im leaving from you, If that is exactly how much you not wanting me.

I am not fighting for you.
you can actually criticize me for all you want,

What I know, What my heart feels, What Im spitting here are:
I wasn't cheating,
I wasn't keeping secret,
I wasn't BACK-STABBING.

I know,
I wasn't MATURE,
I'd loved you enough to get crazy without you,
I didn't want to lose you.

You'd never felt like how I feel.
You'd never tried understand me too... 

sometimes i wish you could understand me by how you feel instead of asking what happened on me.
I just don't feel your care.
If you bothered to observe more, I care about you more than you know.
But what I am to you?
CARE more, OBSERVE more, THINK more~
You just never realized how many times you disappoint me.
Every single time, every single day, I don't feel you. I don't feel your care, I don't feel your heart, I don't even feel that "you like me'.. (Seriously, I'm not having the pms)
The problem is:
What's wrong with the "HI" and gone for whole day? I met your friends more than I met you.
What's wrong with the *came over for lunch* and never bothered giving me a text the whole day, and acted like nth happened on fb after? I text with others more than i text you.
what do you care honestly?

What should I feel..... for you? with you behaving like these?
How should I acted like nothing happened?
How should I even tell you these? when you asked me what happened?

AND.
teach me not to feel anything when u set yourself as the rejected list.
teach me not to be mad when u actually said missed me but done nth~~


Maybe you were not the right person.
I feel everytime when people is trying every effort to make it up for you,
and you have to destroy it 'just like this'.
You didn't even realize it, din you?

and why should I blogging for you instead of studying?

your day, not the day~

Why do I feel like paying my every effort for you but i would get none of yours back?
Hi, Mr.someone.
I am having a hard time here, though today is special.day to you.

Why do I feel like giving a surprise but needed to hardly please you to corporate with me?
Why do I feel like I am hurt but U ARE ENJOYING your freaking anime?
All these effort that I thought, has just vanished because of your passion on your thing and,
yesh, you ignore others that didn't bother you at that moment.
That feels like,

u only find me when u need me.
You just dont understand~
You are not the type,
stop hanging me, stop holding on, stop getting closer, stop anything that would lead us to the wrong path. :(