untitled II

Feel like writing something down out of the blue while the exam is starting real soon.

This week is actually the last week of lecture and the week after would be the SWOT week AKA study week. Just with one clip of eye, this week feels like Week 1 again; where there was no experiments, not rushing for assignments, not complaining how much time I spent in school while at the same time, my housemates were all homed and finished their dinner. Just out of no way, i guess i have gone through 11 weeks with all the troubles. Im glad of that, and i have to say, it's not easy, to be me. So used to self-personality in Malaysia where people's often claimed I'm cheerful, talkative kid. But here, I'm not, no idea why, just not talking as much.  

Anyway, found this semester ended quite fast, probably too much problems to settle by yourself which made days passed even faster. I was having sleepless nights 3 weeks before when the assignments were overloaded and I thought i have been through nth more suffered, not sure what spirits to make me keep going when things here turned nth shittier. Perhaps, encourage from someone special was the biggest support to back me up~

till then...

untitled

It has been 3 months, and I'm still surviving, with a bottle of beer beside me, i feeel so *me. I can actually drink beer (pear cider) without brother complaining to mom and mother will think that I'm actually have relationship problem. That was annoying because they drink more than me though i admit that they are more capable as in not getting drunk. But one small bottle could actually help me to sleep better. I have been having insomnia recently due to workload, and worse, i have no friends helping me to do my assignments as in discussing and paraphrasing. Doing work alone is something meant for smart asses but i'm not, so please "excuse me"!

not knowing how this world has changed in another country, i have kind of blend into ang moh's world with not having really closed asians friends(because most of them make me damn sick).
I can't really tell that i missed home nor families, i just feel good if i could get help in my assignments and everything would work fine just here.

Gossiping would become necessity, u just have no idea how suck they are, but opps, just pretend that i didn't mention it, coz who knows, people stalk  right, and it appears that this blog is public huh. But so what, i done nothing wrong.  and as if i going to private this blog because of this.

But anyway, this is just an untitled post.

will.keep.you.updated.soon.

Hash-tag? it just makes me difficult to read because they chuck everything. #can.you.see.my.annoyed.face.? Like hello, can u press spacebar?????!!!! -_-

快乐的定义

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这个学期，好像真的来去匆匆，慌慌张张就过了几个月了。在这片大草原上， 我们活在属于自己的世界， 都隔着了我们不知道的是是非非。 不确定是因为我们被疏远了， 还是我们根本就不在乎。那也当然， 即使我们活着了自己的世界， 也会有你与我的是非， 争执甚至讨厌， 被说是非管不了了， 说别人的， 也当然是我们-人的个性。

不知道是不是存在不同的世界， 快乐的定义也变不一样了呢？
我们的快乐是，
为了得到学生优惠而快乐， 为了可以瞒天过海而快乐， 一起出去走走得快乐， 躺在草床，拍了几百张自拍而快乐。。
煮成功了美食， 而快乐。 即使煮了垃圾出来， 也硬要吃的快乐。 做了全世界最傻的很多很多事情， 而觉得笨得很快乐。

那么，不同世界的你们，会为了什么而快乐呢？
其实我都懂， 快乐的定义就是你觉得快乐就快乐。

那么， 勉强的快乐算不算快乐？ 说很快乐也不一定快乐， 笑也不一定代表着快乐， 好心情， 也可以是装出来的面具。

重点是： 感受不了的快乐， 最不快乐。 （不过听歌可以舒缓心情是真的， 伤心的人别听慢歌！！）

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人总会在知道自己错后而后悔（applicable to everyone), 知道错了， 没有用了， 为什么总是这样？ 当初说好不后悔的， 为什么到最后理由要我自己发掘呢？机会不是没给的， 就别说你舍不得了。 我真的。。很努力 在往前走的。

love proposal

哈喽， 我来了！不懂跟你表白一切过后， 会不会影响我的形象， 总之不管啦， 我要在这里跟你坦诚我以前对你做的一切了， *丢脸。 你应该不懂吧， 以前以前的blog 都已经有写关于到你的事情， 哈哈。 你不懂哪一个是不是？ 老实说， 还蛮多的， 现在我就一个一个link给你看， 希望你看了别恨我， （因为我好像有写了一些心淡的话， 也有写了些傻话，坏话也好像有几句， 哎哟) *感觉好下水 〉〈

1. http://i00am00sylvia00.blogspot.com.au/2011/09/little-secret-shhhhhh.html
2. http://i00am00sylvia00.blogspot.com.au/2011/10/text-message.html
3. http://i00am00sylvia00.blogspot.com.au/2011/10/over-you.html
4. http://i00am00sylvia00.blogspot.com.au/2011/11/last-christmas.html
5. http://i00am00sylvia00.blogspot.com.au/2011/12/back-to-december-update.html
6. http://i00am00sylvia00.blogspot.com.au/2012/04/blog-post.html
7. http://i00am00sylvia00.blogspot.com.au/2012/04/changes.html
8. http://i00am00sylvia00.blogspot.com.au/2013/02/woohoo.html


好啦！ 有8个， 看了你就恍然大悟， 原来我对你的感觉也一样吧~

为什么我会喜欢你叻？
理由一： 你比其他人更关心， 体谅我
理由二： 你比较爱护我， 疼我， 好东西都给我， 担心我， 让我， 呵护我
理由三： 我爱吃的东西都给我，东西都叫贵的， 只要好吃都无所谓 （真的喜欢这点， 我比较贪吃）
理由四： 保护我，不让别人欺负我。 我哭时， 会着急， 会说 “好啦， 没事”！
理由五： 因为你是Mr。好人，我说什么， 你都说“好”的人。
理由六：因为你就是那个明明自己就很冷，还借我穿冷衣的傻瓜。
理由七：因为你很贱， 跟你讨冷衣， 还一定要我跟你说谢谢！
理由八：因为你为我牺牲，陪我聊到天亮~
理由九： 因为你比其他人更在乎我。
理由十：我就是喜欢你！

In another life

If everyone has known me from facebook, or closed friends; should have realized that I have no longer in Malaysia, because Im currently in Australia for a year. Sometimes, i felt like it is a dream, from the beginning of this year till the moment I stepped into the foreign country with full of westerners. It was kind of amazing, learning their accent, eating the English breakfast, their culture, their way of treating international students, they have fantastic manners which is cool, and i got so amused and gladful for that.
Remember back in Malaysia, when i tried my best settling the student visa, accommodation, fees all by myself (mainly), it has happened in one clip of eye, and the feeling of me in Australia now, is another kind of unbelievable thought strikes because things happening here is so perfectly right. I'd wondered what i did for my past life to get such a good life here, and friends and family in Malaysia, and Australia apparently; treating me as good, though I've needed some time to cope with everyone's personality over here.
For the readers out there (if any), just to confirm with you guys, I am doing great here though the weather here is freezing cold.
   

My future is in my hand~

我现在想要的， 是生活得无拘无束。 既然你都放手地让我出国了， 为什么还是酱不放心。 那送我出国的原因是什么， 不就是让我独立生活吗？ 你总有放手的一天啊。
我懂还是会担心， 都说了会照顾自己了， 就请你让我做我喜欢的！
不曾想过我以后会变到怎样。 比较成熟？ 还是很依赖？ 懒惰？ 想家？ 什么都好， 总之就不是可以预测到的东西， 就别烦自己说到底我去到会不会习惯就对了。 我会学着适应， 学着喜欢， 你就别操心好不好？
也许大家现在会觉得我很叛逆， 要听话还是什么的~ 可是我很想做我自己要做的东西， 不想被绑的死死的， 这样那样很危险，可能你是对的， 可是我想学会跌倒， 再自己站起来， 这样感觉会看到更远， 更清楚。 

messed.up.with.the.feelings

I had been really confused, when things had gotten the worst last year. And I remember, sending Christmas texts to every closed friend of mine, asking them to love me because i thought, without you, there wouldn't be anyone that loved me more than you did.
It ended up using months to recover, and i realized, friends are so much better than boyfriend. When i realized, friends would be there when u needed someone. There is always a friend, a good-friend, a close friend, the best guy friend that willing, so much willing, to comfort me when i cried over the phone, when i said things very emotionally, when i said i couldn't move on, when i believed that i couldn't have this shiny smile on my face anymore. I told him, my everything... He always think so positively, comforted me indirectly, accompanied not to sleep for nights. I wasn't exaggerate..
After that, my life moved on without boyfriend. But i met boys, chasing after me like flies in the university. I felt so much different. Partly because of them, it kind of made me moved on to the new life. Unfortunately, I forgot to thank this friend of mine. What i remembered was I kept surrounded with chasing-after boys, without feeling thankful that actually, it was the best guy-friend that helped me out so much... too much.
However, the realistic of this world that makes me couldn't accept the fact that, they actually treated me like strangers upon my rejection. And my heart started to ache, how can people be so strayed away when we so much used to be quite closed together. It doesn't make sense~ I felt heart broken, i lost closed-friends, exes, and exes friends. Too many to count.*cries*
Now, what i still left. it was still this good friend, that treated me still the same, always the same.
Always this over-caring, this dumb but too cute looking, this guy that never would think of himself as first priority.
I remember last time, how i wished the ex-ie never blocked me from seeing his posts, never changed his password, never ignored me, never be that cruel to me. How i wished, what he posted was related to me, like things stayed the same.
However, things really do changed. never the same~
Now i wish, good friends will always stay, good things stayed as memories. I don't hate, i just accept.

And for the strangers that you treating me as, I don't know why I still cared..
but you would be the next thing i starting to get over.

someday, u will miss like how much i missed,
someday, u will be sad like how much I am,
Someday you will be loving me back like the others and i wouldn't be the same. 

assumption made

We have to stop pretending not to care about each others and actually do talk about how much we still feel.
All these while, we haven't been acknowledging how we actually ended up nothing.
We still, do feel for each other, don't we?
At least, i still feeel~ How much things happened on you was all i wanted to know.
i still feel, it is "you".. correct me if i was wrong...  
holding on to you makes me feel more comfortable~

why do we still blog-posting for each other instead of direct conversation.
I still feel strange, feeling unprotected.
How much more I have to find out before you actually revealed yourself the truth behind the lies? 
How much more of me to reach the perfect one for you. 

taking everything as my precious,
Everyone knows that, Im going far away..
Im leaving from you, If that is exactly how much you not wanting me.

I am not fighting for you.
you can actually criticize me for all you want,

What I know, What my heart feels, What Im spitting here are:
I wasn't cheating,
I wasn't keeping secret,
I wasn't BACK-STABBING.

I know,
I wasn't MATURE,
I'd loved you enough to get crazy without you,
I didn't want to lose you.

You'd never felt like how I feel.
You'd never tried understand me too... 

sometimes i wish you could understand me by how you feel instead of asking what happened on me.
I just don't feel your care.
If you bothered to observe more, I care about you more than you know.
But what I am to you?
CARE more, OBSERVE more, THINK more~
You just never realized how many times you disappoint me.
Every single time, every single day, I don't feel you. I don't feel your care, I don't feel your heart, I don't even feel that "you like me'.. (Seriously, I'm not having the pms)
The problem is:
What's wrong with the "HI" and gone for whole day? I met your friends more than I met you.
What's wrong with the *came over for lunch* and never bothered giving me a text the whole day, and acted like nth happened on fb after? I text with others more than i text you.
what do you care honestly?

What should I feel..... for you? with you behaving like these?
How should I acted like nothing happened?
How should I even tell you these? when you asked me what happened?

AND.
teach me not to feel anything when u set yourself as the rejected list.
teach me not to be mad when u actually said missed me but done nth~~


Maybe you were not the right person.
I feel everytime when people is trying every effort to make it up for you,
and you have to destroy it 'just like this'.
You didn't even realize it, din you?

and why should I blogging for you instead of studying?

your day, not the day~

Why do I feel like paying my every effort for you but i would get none of yours back?
Hi, Mr.someone.
I am having a hard time here, though today is special.day to you.

Why do I feel like giving a surprise but needed to hardly please you to corporate with me?
Why do I feel like I am hurt but U ARE ENJOYING your freaking anime?
All these effort that I thought, has just vanished because of your passion on your thing and,
yesh, you ignore others that didn't bother you at that moment.
That feels like,

u only find me when u need me.
You just dont understand~
You are not the type,
stop hanging me, stop holding on, stop getting closer, stop anything that would lead us to the wrong path. :(

life continues

Thanks to all these people, that they actually lighted up my life once more.
thanks to "boys" surrounding me, makes me feel like i'm one of the popular kind, which I obviously never thought that could happen on me. Though used to be, the feeling is tremendously affecting me.

Honestly, when things started move on quickly, people tend to forget the past memories, that is super true.
But during the midnight, there it comes; the loneliness strikes.
During the night, I started to think a lot.

What we used to do.. has replaced with some other.
But I used to think, that we were meant forever,
And I, used to whatsapp you, has as well replaced with one another..

The different kind of feeling, though it wasn't you. but my life has continued.
loving my life, loving the new start~
Learning be love myself.

-pamper me a little more-
-care for me like Im yours-
-And i will-
-fall for you-

we talked about, love and hope, wished that we could start our lives our own~

I have to learn, how to be alone
and how to have the "I don't care" attitude towards everyone!

til.
then. 

woohoo~

从何开始，留意着你的出现。
从何开始，又再喜欢上你的连续关怀。
又是几时开始，被你的随和个性吸引着呢？

也许又多了解你的往事，
看着你的细心，有一种哥哥保护着妹妹的感觉。

你的好，让我觉得，我不配。

we can only be friends, ain't we?
I am probably thinking too much.
You treat everyone as good, i noticed that~
We somehow not suit-to-be, but...
I still wish that, we can be more than this. :|

P/s: tmr is the working day after all. the memorable trip has ended, the trip that has made us closer, i love that place, i like the 'u'~  

Internship 3

Today is the busiest day in the blood bank. *smile*, Though i am no longer in that department, but i helped the staffs there because there was many donors queued up for blood donation. And, I OT for 2 hours!! *clap hands plz* :)

Today, the goal of Mr.senior has finally achieved. Which was getting 15 donors a day. He said to me, ' He couldn't double confirm the vein before poking the needle because there is too many donors waiting'. He is super funny. He also asked me to sign for him, so I signed as if I using daddy's credit cards to buy stuffs~ HAHA, it was so fun, imitating people's signature as self~ *like a boss, woahhh*~ So, next time, i can become Mr.senior's assistant and sign his thing!! *ngek ngek*~

Anyway, The reason of so many walk-in donors were to help a person, Madam Foo. According to the little information that i know, this is what i got from facebook :-

Looking for anyone to donate blood.
Name: Foo Chui Chin
MRN no: 0000276221
Age: 50y/o female
Sime Darby Medical Centre
Operation: colon operation due to cancer sarcoma in abdominal area. A lot of blood transfusion will be needed for this operation.
Date of operation: 22/1/13 (tuesday)
Blood type needed: O+ blood type

Please contact
1. Lim Yuanshuang 012-3635701
2. Lim Yuanting 012-9011606
3. Lim Gim Hin 012-2249392
Appreciate if you guys can help me spread the words
*news
As we kinda need O+ urgently
Friend's friend mom
Changed to sunway medical centre.

(credited to a friend, copied from fb)

Many O positive~~

  

2013

oh, looking back at previous 2009 posts and the me in 2013, my face really grew up a lot. big HAIS!, time FLIES, cute face GONE, people became mature overtime, why can't i be forever that age, Why can't I have puppy love any more?!

I used to have chubby cheeks!!, I want it back, I used to have a slimmer body shape, i want it back! T.T

I wanna have that smile back, I wanna have the cuteness back. HAHA! :|

Just too sad, I look older than last time, :|

And i noticed that the posts in 2012 is half of 2011, which means that mature people's getting busier every year. However, I'm going to blog whenever i have the bit of time before heading to somewhere far away. HAHA!.

till then. 

this and that + internship 2

Working in the laboratories was indeed fun but sometimes, I feel super pissed off with the students there. Too many students in one freaking small department makes me couldn't learn much from the staffs. Also, students all taking all the jobs over and i just looked super extra. -_-

And, in that haematology department, doing extra work will just make us more errors, it wasn't that i ran away, i just didn't want to make more mistakes.

Other than this, everything works fine, I was actually quite happy because Mr.senior kept chatting with us and he is a really very funny person. *laugh* Mr.senior just has to mention everything with cash, telling us the price of the freezer, the electricity, the machines which eventually, make the bills expensive!! 

And there is a department in the laboratories called blood bank, which obviously handling stuffs such as blood bags. Since blood bags are so much needed by emergencies, surgeries, urgent injuries, blood donors are always wanted. Mr.senior always ask students to donate blood which make our conversation interesting.   

"People only want to poke others, self getting poked is a No!" :)

Caption: That is my left handed writing~~ (:

Caption: Tired but happy~ So, :P Boo~~

Oh, I've as well met a lot of friends, different age, different school, different courses, but we are all humans, so we always communicate well~ ^^

P/s: Just sometimes, when you thought things have gotten better, things that surround you got back normal, everyone seems fine, why do some other people hating, not comfortable, with it? *sigh* 

friday night~

what would you do on this party rocking night as tmr is a freaking non-working Saturday!
Isn't it's time to have body rocking, party throwing?.
Well, but mine went as simple! Hehe! *smile*

So happy today because I have finally tried the beef prosperity at macD!! thanks to my friends because i forced them to eat fast food with me as their dinner! ><" (opps! not forgetting the portion that wasn't enough to fill your stomach spaces)

caption: One eye big and one eye small.. THE ROCK!!! C: - chinese new year is coming soon and yet, mama havent JIO me to buy cny clothes?! T.T

Yummy but a bit spicy because it has too much of pepper sauce, BOO~. not bad lah! LAI, next time try chicken!!

Caption: +Sesame+colourful glutinous ball+ ice @ snowflakes # try yourself

started to get well along with the staffs over the hospital, they are all great people!!. i know I did complain about how ignorance they were on the first day, but things changed slightly after all; anyway, i still hope it would end soon because waking up early is seriously not my style!. *laugh*

That's my blooooooooooood TYPE, B positive.. who wants to get ur cephalic vein poked?! :DDD

internship

First week of internship was pretty much suffering, the first day of itself got ignored for whole day, luckily there was senior that taught me things. Basically, I felt so much better now, because Im in different department now. *laugh*

 I like the Mr.senior in that department because he would teach and dare enough to let me try on new things. Teaching me with theories while not just procedure, and explained why must this done in this way instead of you should do like this. He is different, probably because Mr.senior knows so much than others. Anyway, I only managed to communicate with him for about 2 days, which make me super upset. *cries*

Internship is still tiring because I have to wake up super early every weekday, whenever i wake up, i feel like sleeping back, it is so hard to fight against the body every time. I guess i can now understand how my friends felt like when the classes they allocated mostly 8 a.m. in the morning. It must be tiring!!

Warning: these picture are too much narcissistic, leave if u dont feel like viewing!. TQVM!

caption: I wanna eat magnum ice-cream. bing qi ling bing qi ling. :O

Caption: first time felt that going to pasar malam can have so much of fun, though it was hot and sweaty night, but it worth it all!! ^.^

Caption : i like gingie!!

Caption: I like domie!!

Caption: i like kitty frame, gor gor gave it to me and someone said it is cute on me ^^V


should i cut my fringe? Do i look better off with fringe or just let them be as long???... HMMMMM... *wondering*

tiring : emotionally, physically, mentally

no matter how things went, life goes on, though I have once said, I'm nothing without you.
it does go on....
but it goes on in a hard way, tough beginning, complicated mind set.

internship has started today, it's so tiring, stood like a fool, not getting involved.
no matter what i did, in the bottom of the heart, there's still you.

addicted to jay chou's song <明明就> ^.^

new year resolution

my new year resolutions: stay happy everyday. everyday putting a truthful smile on the face... does a brand new year mean I going to have a brand new chapter? because moving on is still very hard for me. I need friends. need laughter.. need time.. this new start indicates that we both going diff paths. we are going to have diff start. its not like I don't wanna chat. and its not I wanna hate.. its because ignore you is the best way to forget its because not knowing how have u been makes me feel less missing you.. of course I have to admit I still wonder.. about how u doing everyday.. did u fall sick.. still sleeping as late? have enough meal? still wearing my frame? still hate ur bro gf? did u miss me? do u still love or like me? did u miss me like how I miss you? many things etc etc but I don't wanna know all the answers. because I am afraid.. the answers would hurt me even more. I'm afraid..