love proposal

哈喽， 我来了！不懂跟你表白一切过后， 会不会影响我的形象， 总之不管啦， 我要在这里跟你坦诚我以前对你做的一切了， *丢脸。 你应该不懂吧， 以前以前的blog 都已经有写关于到你的事情， 哈哈。 你不懂哪一个是不是？ 老实说， 还蛮多的， 现在我就一个一个link给你看， 希望你看了别恨我， （因为我好像有写了一些心淡的话， 也有写了些傻话，坏话也好像有几句， 哎哟) *感觉好下水 〉〈

1. http://i00am00sylvia00.blogspot.com.au/2011/09/little-secret-shhhhhh.html
2. http://i00am00sylvia00.blogspot.com.au/2011/10/text-message.html
3. http://i00am00sylvia00.blogspot.com.au/2011/10/over-you.html
4. http://i00am00sylvia00.blogspot.com.au/2011/11/last-christmas.html
5. http://i00am00sylvia00.blogspot.com.au/2011/12/back-to-december-update.html
6. http://i00am00sylvia00.blogspot.com.au/2012/04/blog-post.html
7. http://i00am00sylvia00.blogspot.com.au/2012/04/changes.html
8. http://i00am00sylvia00.blogspot.com.au/2013/02/woohoo.html


好啦！ 有8个， 看了你就恍然大悟， 原来我对你的感觉也一样吧~

为什么我会喜欢你叻？
理由一： 你比其他人更关心， 体谅我
理由二： 你比较爱护我， 疼我， 好东西都给我， 担心我， 让我， 呵护我
理由三： 我爱吃的东西都给我，东西都叫贵的， 只要好吃都无所谓 （真的喜欢这点， 我比较贪吃）
理由四： 保护我，不让别人欺负我。 我哭时， 会着急， 会说 “好啦， 没事”！
理由五： 因为你是Mr。好人，我说什么， 你都说“好”的人。
理由六：因为你就是那个明明自己就很冷，还借我穿冷衣的傻瓜。
理由七：因为你很贱， 跟你讨冷衣， 还一定要我跟你说谢谢！
理由八：因为你为我牺牲，陪我聊到天亮~
理由九： 因为你比其他人更在乎我。
理由十：我就是喜欢你！

In another life

If everyone has known me from facebook, or closed friends; should have realized that I have no longer in Malaysia, because Im currently in Australia for a year. Sometimes, i felt like it is a dream, from the beginning of this year till the moment I stepped into the foreign country with full of westerners. It was kind of amazing, learning their accent, eating the English breakfast, their culture, their way of treating international students, they have fantastic manners which is cool, and i got so amused and gladful for that.
Remember back in Malaysia, when i tried my best settling the student visa, accommodation, fees all by myself (mainly), it has happened in one clip of eye, and the feeling of me in Australia now, is another kind of unbelievable thought strikes because things happening here is so perfectly right. I'd wondered what i did for my past life to get such a good life here, and friends and family in Malaysia, and Australia apparently; treating me as good, though I've needed some time to cope with everyone's personality over here.
For the readers out there (if any), just to confirm with you guys, I am doing great here though the weather here is freezing cold.
   

My future is in my hand~

我现在想要的， 是生活得无拘无束。 既然你都放手地让我出国了， 为什么还是酱不放心。 那送我出国的原因是什么， 不就是让我独立生活吗？ 你总有放手的一天啊。
我懂还是会担心， 都说了会照顾自己了， 就请你让我做我喜欢的！
不曾想过我以后会变到怎样。 比较成熟？ 还是很依赖？ 懒惰？ 想家？ 什么都好， 总之就不是可以预测到的东西， 就别烦自己说到底我去到会不会习惯就对了。 我会学着适应， 学着喜欢， 你就别操心好不好？
也许大家现在会觉得我很叛逆， 要听话还是什么的~ 可是我很想做我自己要做的东西， 不想被绑的死死的， 这样那样很危险，可能你是对的， 可是我想学会跌倒， 再自己站起来， 这样感觉会看到更远， 更清楚。 

messed.up.with.the.feelings

I had been really confused, when things had gotten the worst last year. And I remember, sending Christmas texts to every closed friend of mine, asking them to love me because i thought, without you, there wouldn't be anyone that loved me more than you did.
It ended up using months to recover, and i realized, friends are so much better than boyfriend. When i realized, friends would be there when u needed someone. There is always a friend, a good-friend, a close friend, the best guy friend that willing, so much willing, to comfort me when i cried over the phone, when i said things very emotionally, when i said i couldn't move on, when i believed that i couldn't have this shiny smile on my face anymore. I told him, my everything... He always think so positively, comforted me indirectly, accompanied not to sleep for nights. I wasn't exaggerate..
After that, my life moved on without boyfriend. But i met boys, chasing after me like flies in the university. I felt so much different. Partly because of them, it kind of made me moved on to the new life. Unfortunately, I forgot to thank this friend of mine. What i remembered was I kept surrounded with chasing-after boys, without feeling thankful that actually, it was the best guy-friend that helped me out so much... too much.
However, the realistic of this world that makes me couldn't accept the fact that, they actually treated me like strangers upon my rejection. And my heart started to ache, how can people be so strayed away when we so much used to be quite closed together. It doesn't make sense~ I felt heart broken, i lost closed-friends, exes, and exes friends. Too many to count.*cries*
Now, what i still left. it was still this good friend, that treated me still the same, always the same.
Always this over-caring, this dumb but too cute looking, this guy that never would think of himself as first priority.
I remember last time, how i wished the ex-ie never blocked me from seeing his posts, never changed his password, never ignored me, never be that cruel to me. How i wished, what he posted was related to me, like things stayed the same.
However, things really do changed. never the same~
Now i wish, good friends will always stay, good things stayed as memories. I don't hate, i just accept.

And for the strangers that you treating me as, I don't know why I still cared..
but you would be the next thing i starting to get over.

someday, u will miss like how much i missed,
someday, u will be sad like how much I am,
Someday you will be loving me back like the others and i wouldn't be the same. 

assumption made

We have to stop pretending not to care about each others and actually do talk about how much we still feel.
All these while, we haven't been acknowledging how we actually ended up nothing.
We still, do feel for each other, don't we?
At least, i still feeel~ How much things happened on you was all i wanted to know.
i still feel, it is "you".. correct me if i was wrong...  
holding on to you makes me feel more comfortable~

why do we still blog-posting for each other instead of direct conversation.
I still feel strange, feeling unprotected.
How much more I have to find out before you actually revealed yourself the truth behind the lies? 
How much more of me to reach the perfect one for you. 

taking everything as my precious,
Everyone knows that, Im going far away..
Im leaving from you, If that is exactly how much you not wanting me.

I am not fighting for you.
you can actually criticize me for all you want,

What I know, What my heart feels, What Im spitting here are:
I wasn't cheating,
I wasn't keeping secret,
I wasn't BACK-STABBING.

I know,
I wasn't MATURE,
I'd loved you enough to get crazy without you,
I didn't want to lose you.

You'd never felt like how I feel.
You'd never tried understand me too...