free counter

i had naively thought that somebody would have really paid his attention on me because he had helped me in the sense of everything. Alright, maybe it was not everything at all but i felt like he was really good to me and by this, i thought he was kind of liking me. N.A.I.V.E!
And when he was gone, i waited him to online for the whole day although it was ended up with disappointment. But i did not give up in the first place, i waited and tried to chat with somebody but then. sigh!. i seriously did not understand what he wants because neither did he talk something that i expected. How much efforts that i have put in did not simply equal to how much succeeding will i be achieving. That might simply mean nothing to him. Till he did something that i do not feel like wanting to chat with him for one second right now. i wished he could disappear in my life so that i would not be remebering the sweet memories that we had before....
But at the same time, i am having a huge dilemma of whether wanting him to be mine, close friends or just acquaintances? We used to be very close last time, but now, i have noticed we are just simply acquaintances. He used to be very talkative and we had lots to talk last time, playing, eating, touching, caring, eye-to-eye contacting, heart-with-heart talking and more. But now, when we met each other, we did not even greet to each other. Just a simple smiling sign to show we know each other. That was awful. Even strangers and/or caucasians did show their smile to me when we were eye contacting.
I really doubt this relationship would last forever. he did not seem to put in effort for further relation. 
I know he will never be viewing this blog, so it's obviously alright for me to mention about this matter here.
I knew he wouldn't be even clicked. :')